Today marks 30 years I have been on this Earth. 30 years that I have been blessed with life. Today I celebrate 30 years of life, and I wonder "Have I been a good steward of my years?" Every day is a gift, but am I treating each day as the precious jewel it truly is? Our life here on Earth is so temporal, like sands in the hour glass - wait no - that's not what I mean, or is it?
How did I spend my time? I think of my current life in decades, since I have lived for three. The first ten years of my life were spent establishing myself on this Earth. I learned all the essential life skills such as walking, talking, reading and writing. I had a stong spiritual belief instilled in my mind and heart. I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior and committed my life to be a follower of Jesus Christ. I established relationships with family and began to develop a sense of self. I have many wonderful memories of these years!
The next ten years involved an equal amount of changing for me. From age ten to age twenty, I experienced real loss for the first time. In that time I lost three of my six grandparents. Each as devastating as the next. I learned to appreciate those around me and began to understand this life really doesn't last forever. The value of money became real to me as I started working, earning my own dollar, and buying my own things. Friendships became an integral part of my life, and I finally felt like I figured out who I was. School was important to me; I knew college was neccessary to succeed in life. Church remained a strong influence in my life, and my relationship with Jesus Christ grew stronger. Challenging circumstances and situations rocked my family to the core, but we made it through and I learned much through those trying times. Our family was blessed with a niece and four nephews before my 20th birthday, and I met the man I would soon marry. Many people influenced me and played important roles in my life. Family and friends of the family, church leaders, and teachers. I tried to learn from watching the lives of others.
I played in the HS band, sang in choir, spoke speeches, created yearbooks, was a teacher's assistant, helped with a children's after school program, went to camps, worked at McDonald's, babysat kids (a lot!), played softball, mowed the yard, fished with family, received scholarships, attended college, played/marched in the Pride of Oklahoma, moved out of my parent's house for good, performed medical research, lived in dorms, kissed boys, dissed boys, cried over boys, spent countless hours at Wal-Mart, changed my major five times, and called home way to little. Oh yeah, I went skydiving - three times!!! And my dad and favorite cousin went with me. Wow, that's a lot. Thanks for sticking with me.
Finally the decade whose last chapter has been written, age 20 to age 30. So many wonderful developments. My marriage to the most amazing man, the birth of my first baby and the conception of my second. I now have my very own family to love and cherish. I graduated from college - twice! I have been to Korea, Cambodia, and Japan(airport only but I count it, shush). As a military wife, I developed friendships to last a lifetime, and experienced the pain of separation from my spouse as well as the pride in my country and his efforts to protect and defend. After swearing off 8-5 work prior to my 20's, now I work 8:30-5:30 and it isn't so bad. OK, it's kind of killing me, but I do it anyway. We moved more times than a family should, but have finally lived in a home for more than 2 years! I am a home-owner, and we have land. We have changed cars like some people change underwear (the funky kind of people that only change undies a couple times a year). We are established in an amazing church and are serving God each and every day, although there are several other churches which offered spiritual support for us along the way. We have been blessed, and believe it is our calling tobe a blessing to others.
The last ten years have been so surreal. Ten years ago Terry and I spent our first birthdays together (his b-day is June 10th). We went to the zoo and then to Bricktown and walked around the canal. There was no Harkins Theater and very few restaurants. It was still beautiful and we took pictures of one another in front of the flowers. A few short months later we were married and he was off to Korea while I stayed in Norman to finish school. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. After that separation time, we went on to live together only about 8 months total of the first four years of our marriage. Post military we moved back to Oklahoma and began our life here. I lost more loved ones, two more grandparents and, most devastating, my favorite cousin. There are others too that have gone on before us, but we will see them again. The experiences of love and loss have definitely shaped my life.
So what now? As a new decade begins I wonder where will it lead? I know I want more in life. I still have goals I haven't reached. I still have mountains to climb (figuratively and literally). Places to go and people to see. Missions to accomplish. What will the next decade hold for me and my family? I can't predict the future, but I can plan for it. I want to go back to school. Yeah I know, you are shocked I'm sure. I love to learn and I would love to teach on the college level some day. I want to go on more missions trips. I have been sending, but I want to GO! I want to live my life in such a way that people are drawn to my Savior. I want to be the best wife and mother I can be; a true Proverbs 31 woman. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I can say with absolute certainty - The BEST is yet to come!
6.08.2011
4.23.2011
Pregnancy 2.0
So, last year some time we decided 2011 would be the time to have another baby. I looked at our insurance plan and my work schedule and desire to be off for the holidays (wink wink) and decided November would be ideal. I then considered the science and did the math and badda-boom-badda-bang! A November baby we shall have. Now I have to admit I carry a bit of pride about this whole "planning" thing. I have (more than once) proclaimed "My science is infallible!" In case you don't really know me, yes I really am THAT nerdy!
We were so excited when the test was positive! We came up with a great plan to reveal the pregnancy at Koribella's birthday party. We dreamed of reactions and how fun and happy everyone would be. It was hard to not tell everyone I saw, but it would be worth the wait. Oh sweet joy! And then . . .dun-dun-dun . . . reality hit. And by reality I mean nausea and fatigue, and by hit I mean like a ton a bricks falling on my head every day and then permanently attaching themselves to my heels all day long. All this with a toddler in tow and Terry working unpredictable hours. The perfect storm.
We found out at 5 weeks, then I became the walking dead around 6 weeks. We weren't planning on telling everyone until 10 weeks. Just four weeks, right. By then end of the 7th week I was willing to tell ANYone! We decided to wait until the first appointment when we had our ultrasound at 8 weeks. We would know the baby was OK and the heartbeat was good then we could broadcast it and people would stop asking me why I look so bad. So much for that perfectly fun plan.
I am not saying my nausea and fatigue is worse than anyone else's, and really I don't want you to commiserate with me if you had really bad problems with this. Here is my deal - I don't DO nausea. I NEVER puke! I haven't puked in 8 years! Yes I said YEARS! Not a typo. I DON'T puke. Michelle, if you are reading this, if I puked as much as you did with Elliott when I was pregnant with Koribella, I would have had my tubes tied! And if Terry wanted more babies he would need to adopt or carry them himself. I am not even kidding. So I don't puke, I am just nauseous - all the time. Well except when I am stuffing my face, but even last night I couldn't finish my food because looking at Terry's meal made me nauseated. Some moron BLEW HIS SCHNOZ in the restaurant, opened it up and looked at it, and then put his handkerchief back in his pocket while I was waiting on my food. If I were a person with a less intestinal fortitude I would have lost my mostly digested lunch. As it is, I just sat swooning with nausea not believing my ears or eyes.
Funny how people keep saying, "I bet you are having a boy since you are more nauseous with this baby than Koribella." Well if that is the case - TAKE HIM BACK! I'd rather have a girl than deal with this mess. When I was in labor with KB, I had no pain meds for all but one hour. I was in a LOT of pain, but I kept calm and collected, I never got angry or yelled at Terry. I just took it all in stride. I was OK with pain. With this pregnancy, I have even been thinking bad thoughts such as "I hate you Terry, you did this to me!" and other such nonsense like that. He got a stomach bug last week and was all mopey and crap. "I feel so sick" he whines. "I just can't go to work" he whines. Really?! I wanted to punch him! I know it's wrong. That's how I feel EVERY day, and you can't even put eggs on to boil?! (Don't worry, he boiled the eggs, but only after he slowly walked in there and went to the restroom.)
Speaking of Terry he has been wonderful through all of this. I assure you I am not too pleasant to be around, but after almost ten years he knows how to handle me. Others have been incredibly understanding and helpful too, thanks to everyone. Koribella is the one suffering the most. Before baby, I would bring her home from school, make dinner, play together, take a bath, and then get her ready for bed. Now she is lucky if she gets something besides a bowl of cereal for dinner and we spend most of the evening in the recliner; her watching a movie while I nap. Poor baby! She often climbs down and runs around the house terrorizing, I mean playing with Libby the poodle.
All in all, Pregnancy 2.0 has a few bugs that need to be worked out. Hopefully after the beta testing of 12 weeks are up the two worst bugs will be over and we can get on to having some fun and enjoying being pregnant. Right now, I feel like I am so ready for this pregnancy to be over and to have the baby in my arms. But the other part of me realizes it will be even more challenging to take care of a newborn with a toddler running around. I think I can wait a few more months for that. For now I will spend my time cuddling up with my hubby and my little angel. I am so blessed.
We were so excited when the test was positive! We came up with a great plan to reveal the pregnancy at Koribella's birthday party. We dreamed of reactions and how fun and happy everyone would be. It was hard to not tell everyone I saw, but it would be worth the wait. Oh sweet joy! And then . . .dun-dun-dun . . . reality hit. And by reality I mean nausea and fatigue, and by hit I mean like a ton a bricks falling on my head every day and then permanently attaching themselves to my heels all day long. All this with a toddler in tow and Terry working unpredictable hours. The perfect storm.
We found out at 5 weeks, then I became the walking dead around 6 weeks. We weren't planning on telling everyone until 10 weeks. Just four weeks, right. By then end of the 7th week I was willing to tell ANYone! We decided to wait until the first appointment when we had our ultrasound at 8 weeks. We would know the baby was OK and the heartbeat was good then we could broadcast it and people would stop asking me why I look so bad. So much for that perfectly fun plan.
I am not saying my nausea and fatigue is worse than anyone else's, and really I don't want you to commiserate with me if you had really bad problems with this. Here is my deal - I don't DO nausea. I NEVER puke! I haven't puked in 8 years! Yes I said YEARS! Not a typo. I DON'T puke. Michelle, if you are reading this, if I puked as much as you did with Elliott when I was pregnant with Koribella, I would have had my tubes tied! And if Terry wanted more babies he would need to adopt or carry them himself. I am not even kidding. So I don't puke, I am just nauseous - all the time. Well except when I am stuffing my face, but even last night I couldn't finish my food because looking at Terry's meal made me nauseated. Some moron BLEW HIS SCHNOZ in the restaurant, opened it up and looked at it, and then put his handkerchief back in his pocket while I was waiting on my food. If I were a person with a less intestinal fortitude I would have lost my mostly digested lunch. As it is, I just sat swooning with nausea not believing my ears or eyes.
Funny how people keep saying, "I bet you are having a boy since you are more nauseous with this baby than Koribella." Well if that is the case - TAKE HIM BACK! I'd rather have a girl than deal with this mess. When I was in labor with KB, I had no pain meds for all but one hour. I was in a LOT of pain, but I kept calm and collected, I never got angry or yelled at Terry. I just took it all in stride. I was OK with pain. With this pregnancy, I have even been thinking bad thoughts such as "I hate you Terry, you did this to me!" and other such nonsense like that. He got a stomach bug last week and was all mopey and crap. "I feel so sick" he whines. "I just can't go to work" he whines. Really?! I wanted to punch him! I know it's wrong. That's how I feel EVERY day, and you can't even put eggs on to boil?! (Don't worry, he boiled the eggs, but only after he slowly walked in there and went to the restroom.)
Speaking of Terry he has been wonderful through all of this. I assure you I am not too pleasant to be around, but after almost ten years he knows how to handle me. Others have been incredibly understanding and helpful too, thanks to everyone. Koribella is the one suffering the most. Before baby, I would bring her home from school, make dinner, play together, take a bath, and then get her ready for bed. Now she is lucky if she gets something besides a bowl of cereal for dinner and we spend most of the evening in the recliner; her watching a movie while I nap. Poor baby! She often climbs down and runs around the house terrorizing, I mean playing with Libby the poodle.
All in all, Pregnancy 2.0 has a few bugs that need to be worked out. Hopefully after the beta testing of 12 weeks are up the two worst bugs will be over and we can get on to having some fun and enjoying being pregnant. Right now, I feel like I am so ready for this pregnancy to be over and to have the baby in my arms. But the other part of me realizes it will be even more challenging to take care of a newborn with a toddler running around. I think I can wait a few more months for that. For now I will spend my time cuddling up with my hubby and my little angel. I am so blessed.
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