12.18.2010
10.14.2010
Fast Forward to Fashion
So lately I have decided to become more aware of fashion and style. This is a journey as I honestly have no unique style of my own. Jeans and T-shirts with tennis shoes would be my daily wear if I didn't have to wear business casual professional for work. So I began searching the Internet for fashion help and I found a great blog - Fab Finds Under $50. I began to look at her daily outfits and magic has ensued. Thanks to Kimberly I have discovered accessorizing! My, my, my what a difference this has made. A necklace here and a belt there and an outfit looks totally different. I have since discovered other fashion sites for inspiration, Chic on the Cheap, Twenty York Street, The Sisters Four Say More (lots of diy stuff), and Spoils of Wear.
Thank you so much to all the ladies who take so much time to share their fashion sense with the fashion sense-less like me. You are preventing [fashion] crime all over the world! Please feel free to comment and let me know of any other blogs I should be stalk . . uh I mean reading *sheepish grin*.
Feel free to make any style suggestions and I will keep it in mind when putting together my outfits. This is a journey to being fashionable not the turning on of fashion in my life.
Thank you so much to all the ladies who take so much time to share their fashion sense with the fashion sense-less like me. You are preventing [fashion] crime all over the world! Please feel free to comment and let me know of any other blogs I should be stalk . . uh I mean reading *sheepish grin*.
Feel free to make any style suggestions and I will keep it in mind when putting together my outfits. This is a journey to being fashionable not the turning on of fashion in my life.
8.21.2010
Birh Story Part 4
I was relieved that morning had come. At least I wasn't expected to be sleeping. The contractions were coming pretty regularly and I felt like I had made progress through the night. Well, I hoped I had made progress what with all the cramping and such that kept me in a fitful sleep all night long. Although they told me I could eat (clear liquids, yum!) all I could manage was a couple bites of jello. I had no appetite.
When the nurse checked me, I was at a 1 or so. I begged them to let me walk around and contract on my own - no pitosin! Since I was having contractions, they agreed. So Terry and I began to walk up and down the halls. I remember Jennifer and Kevin joining us for some of the walking. I don't remember how long I walked. Honestly, by this point I had pretty much stopped watching the clock. I had no shortage of "supporters" that I remember clearly. My room was something akin to Grand Central Station at 4pm on a Friday afternoon. I won't names because I would forget someone and they would get their feelings hurt (assuming they ever bothered to read this blog - which is a BIG assumption). When I went back to the room and labored the TV blared and Jennifer was screaming at the political person on the TV and ranting about her conflicting political views. My husband in his infinite wisdom (no sarcasm) turned off the television. Ahhhhhh. Sorry Jen, I don't mind your political views, just not when I am in labor.
People began to talk around me as if I wasn't there. Maybe it was because, in a way, I wasn't. I had retreated into myself. I wasn't talking except to ask to be moved to the labor suite where there was a big tub. I just wanted to get in the water! After what seemed like HOURS, a suite opened up and they agreed to move me to it. I walked down the hall to the suite, by this point I was so turned around. I really didn't know where we were - which is completely unlike me. They just had to check me before I could get into the tub. Geez! Luckily all the guys stayed outside the room until I got settled. I don't remember where I was when they checked me - maybe a 3? It was around noon-ish, maybe. Again, I wasn't really watching the clock. I crawled into the tub and Terry sat behind me on the wonderful birth coach perch (a seat behind the tub where he could put his feet in the water and reach my shoulders but wasn't actually in the tub with me. He was wonderful, by the way. He was with me the whole time! I didn't eat all day, I am not sure if he did either. I need to ask. But I digress.
Once I got in the tub, my fan club filed into the room and set up camp playing cards or something on the table in the room. There was a couch, a couple chairs, a table with chairs, and maybe some other seating so I had room for a crowd, and really - I didn't care. I didn't realize it at the time, but the nurse snuck in and attached the pitosin to my IV while I was in the tub - sneaky! In retrospect, that irritates me - a LOT. But whatever! I was in and out (to go pee) of the tub for a very long time. Finally they told me I had to get out - so I did. When I came out into the room, all the men had vacated, thankfully, and the women were left. They put the baby monitor on me and wanted me to lie in bed, but I was in a lot of pain. Being in bed was so bad! The contractions were non-stop. They kept increasing the pitosin - the EVIL pitosin!
I asked for the birthing ball and sat on that for a while with Terry behind me rubbing my back. Funniest part of my labor story. As I am sitting on the ball leaning forward on the bed with my backside exposed, the door to my room opens. A man and a woman I don't know are standing there dumbfounded. "Uh, I guess they moved her." She says as they stand and stare at me as I glare back at them. Really? How many people just wander into labor rooms without knocking??!! Fortunately, Terry was modest for me and was covering my business "just in case". He is a really great guy.
After the birthing ball I moved to the bed. The contractions were worse than ever. I was holding on to my clinging cross (best gift ever for labor). I had my helpers there too, Mom, Jennifer, and Lana. At one point they were watching the contraction monitor. Everytime I was building a contraction, they would say, "Here comes a big one" or "that wasn't very big" or something else annoying. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer, "I don't need a play-by-play" was all it took and they respectfully stopped. I also remember Jennifer sitting on my bed talking to Misty (cousin) giving her updates.
In any case, I knew I wasn't going to have any strength left to push the baby out when the time came if things continued on this track. I asked someone to call the nurse and get me a little something to take the edge off.
And then I waited . . .
and waited . . .
and waited.
No really, I waited. I promise. I was so patient, then I was less patient. I made them call again. Finally she showed. Apologizing because she was helping some other woman deliver - lucky heffer, wish I was delivering - just give me the shot! But I was nice, no really, I was nice. She gave me an hour's worth of Stadol to see how I would react to it. At this point I was able to rest between contractions. And by rest I mean completely fall asleep for 1 minute at a time until the next spasm began.
I could tell when the end of the hour was nearing. No, I wasn't looking at the clock, I could feel the pain more intensely. I told them they would have to get the nurse to get more meds, but they had to check me first - ugh! Whatever! I had been poked and prodded so much by this time it was no big deal. The midwife checked and said I was a 8-9 - a WHAT? If I let her break my water then I would probably be at a 10 or close.
When the nurse checked me, I was at a 1 or so. I begged them to let me walk around and contract on my own - no pitosin! Since I was having contractions, they agreed. So Terry and I began to walk up and down the halls. I remember Jennifer and Kevin joining us for some of the walking. I don't remember how long I walked. Honestly, by this point I had pretty much stopped watching the clock. I had no shortage of "supporters" that I remember clearly. My room was something akin to Grand Central Station at 4pm on a Friday afternoon. I won't names because I would forget someone and they would get their feelings hurt (assuming they ever bothered to read this blog - which is a BIG assumption). When I went back to the room and labored the TV blared and Jennifer was screaming at the political person on the TV and ranting about her conflicting political views. My husband in his infinite wisdom (no sarcasm) turned off the television. Ahhhhhh. Sorry Jen, I don't mind your political views, just not when I am in labor.
People began to talk around me as if I wasn't there. Maybe it was because, in a way, I wasn't. I had retreated into myself. I wasn't talking except to ask to be moved to the labor suite where there was a big tub. I just wanted to get in the water! After what seemed like HOURS, a suite opened up and they agreed to move me to it. I walked down the hall to the suite, by this point I was so turned around. I really didn't know where we were - which is completely unlike me. They just had to check me before I could get into the tub. Geez! Luckily all the guys stayed outside the room until I got settled. I don't remember where I was when they checked me - maybe a 3? It was around noon-ish, maybe. Again, I wasn't really watching the clock. I crawled into the tub and Terry sat behind me on the wonderful birth coach perch (a seat behind the tub where he could put his feet in the water and reach my shoulders but wasn't actually in the tub with me. He was wonderful, by the way. He was with me the whole time! I didn't eat all day, I am not sure if he did either. I need to ask. But I digress.
Once I got in the tub, my fan club filed into the room and set up camp playing cards or something on the table in the room. There was a couch, a couple chairs, a table with chairs, and maybe some other seating so I had room for a crowd, and really - I didn't care. I didn't realize it at the time, but the nurse snuck in and attached the pitosin to my IV while I was in the tub - sneaky! In retrospect, that irritates me - a LOT. But whatever! I was in and out (to go pee) of the tub for a very long time. Finally they told me I had to get out - so I did. When I came out into the room, all the men had vacated, thankfully, and the women were left. They put the baby monitor on me and wanted me to lie in bed, but I was in a lot of pain. Being in bed was so bad! The contractions were non-stop. They kept increasing the pitosin - the EVIL pitosin!
I asked for the birthing ball and sat on that for a while with Terry behind me rubbing my back. Funniest part of my labor story. As I am sitting on the ball leaning forward on the bed with my backside exposed, the door to my room opens. A man and a woman I don't know are standing there dumbfounded. "Uh, I guess they moved her." She says as they stand and stare at me as I glare back at them. Really? How many people just wander into labor rooms without knocking??!! Fortunately, Terry was modest for me and was covering my business "just in case". He is a really great guy.
After the birthing ball I moved to the bed. The contractions were worse than ever. I was holding on to my clinging cross (best gift ever for labor). I had my helpers there too, Mom, Jennifer, and Lana. At one point they were watching the contraction monitor. Everytime I was building a contraction, they would say, "Here comes a big one" or "that wasn't very big" or something else annoying. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer, "I don't need a play-by-play" was all it took and they respectfully stopped. I also remember Jennifer sitting on my bed talking to Misty (cousin) giving her updates.
In any case, I knew I wasn't going to have any strength left to push the baby out when the time came if things continued on this track. I asked someone to call the nurse and get me a little something to take the edge off.
And then I waited . . .
and waited . . .
and waited.
No really, I waited. I promise. I was so patient, then I was less patient. I made them call again. Finally she showed. Apologizing because she was helping some other woman deliver - lucky heffer, wish I was delivering - just give me the shot! But I was nice, no really, I was nice. She gave me an hour's worth of Stadol to see how I would react to it. At this point I was able to rest between contractions. And by rest I mean completely fall asleep for 1 minute at a time until the next spasm began.
I could tell when the end of the hour was nearing. No, I wasn't looking at the clock, I could feel the pain more intensely. I told them they would have to get the nurse to get more meds, but they had to check me first - ugh! Whatever! I had been poked and prodded so much by this time it was no big deal. The midwife checked and said I was a 8-9 - a WHAT? If I let her break my water then I would probably be at a 10 or close.
I Love the Way You Lie
Have you heard it? You know, the Eminem song featuring Rihanna? It's called, "I love the way you lie". It starts out with Rihanna smoothly singing a great "hook" (just learned this terminology)
Followed by the "hook" with Rihanna burning it is a dark song. I don't want to debate the song. (Apparently it has caused some controversy in the world due to the graphic nature of the music video and the inclusion of Rihanna and her personal struggle with domestic violence - that is not what this blog entry is about.) However, I have been thinking about the song all day. Rihanna's voice has been singing in my head and it sounds so painful. My heart breaks for those who are involved in these terrible life situations. Surely you don't have to think long or hard to come up with the name of a person you know that has been a victim or an abuser. Domestic violence is rampant. If you don't know someone who has been a victim, then I would venture to say you either don't know very many people or you don't know very many people well. It is difficult to understand what is going on in the mind of a victim. In fact it can be downright impossible. If you need more information on how to deal with domestic violence in Oklahoma, I found a great website, here. There are so many more great sites just a google search away.
Oftentimes I struggle because I don't know how to help. When you know someone is in a bad relationship, you just want to drag them out! But you can't control other people. If you try to force them to make the decision you want, you would be just as bad as the abuser because you are trying to control their lives. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier to watch. So, for anyone who has ever had to watch someone you love stay in an abusive relationship - or return to an abusive relationship - and you know how much it hurts. Here are some suggestions for things that you can say:
Father, I pray that You will provide me with opportunities and words for people in my life that are in unhealthy relationships. I pray peace for their minds and hearts and strength to do the right thing. I pray for courage and wisdom and right thinking. I pray for divine protection and emotional and physical healing for all parties involved. For the children in bad family situations I ask that they be given peace in the tumultuous times and they will be shown the love of Christ by your people. Amen.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry.
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie, love the way you lie."
This little "hook" lives up to it's name. It totally hooked me and I couldn't resist listening to the rest of the song. However, I must admit, I am not an Eminem fan. Not that I don't like him. I don't really listen to rap - ever. So he is just not in my music library. WARNING: The lyrics are listed as "Explicit" you're shocked, I'm sure.
The song is about domestic abuse. It tells the story of the cycle of abuse and you see both sides of this severly dysfunctional relationship. The abuser thinking about how he loves the other so much it hurts and how he never wants to hurt her, but he gets lost in the moment. Then there is the apology and the promises, which the abuser admits he knows are lies, and then the reconcilation and honeymoon. The victim's story is told as well. She is in pain, burning, but likes the way it hurts. She knows he is lying, but wants the lie to be true so she believes it and continues to stay with him.
The song is spooky. I get this eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach when I listen to it. Perhaps it is the raw emotion and feelings that are expressed. No sugar coating at all. At the end he even says
"I apologize even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games I just want her back
I know I’m a liar if she ever tries to leave again
I’mma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire"
Followed by the "hook" with Rihanna burning it is a dark song. I don't want to debate the song. (Apparently it has caused some controversy in the world due to the graphic nature of the music video and the inclusion of Rihanna and her personal struggle with domestic violence - that is not what this blog entry is about.) However, I have been thinking about the song all day. Rihanna's voice has been singing in my head and it sounds so painful. My heart breaks for those who are involved in these terrible life situations. Surely you don't have to think long or hard to come up with the name of a person you know that has been a victim or an abuser. Domestic violence is rampant. If you don't know someone who has been a victim, then I would venture to say you either don't know very many people or you don't know very many people well. It is difficult to understand what is going on in the mind of a victim. In fact it can be downright impossible. If you need more information on how to deal with domestic violence in Oklahoma, I found a great website, here. There are so many more great sites just a google search away.
Oftentimes I struggle because I don't know how to help. When you know someone is in a bad relationship, you just want to drag them out! But you can't control other people. If you try to force them to make the decision you want, you would be just as bad as the abuser because you are trying to control their lives. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier to watch. So, for anyone who has ever had to watch someone you love stay in an abusive relationship - or return to an abusive relationship - and you know how much it hurts. Here are some suggestions for things that you can say:
5 Things to Say to a Victim Reluctant to Leave a Violent Situation or to a Victim Who is Returning to a Violent Situation
“I am afraid for your safety”
“I am afraid for the safety of your children”
“It will only get worse”
“I am here for you when you are ready to leave”
“You deserve better than this”
- Domestic Violence Intervention Service, Inc.
Father, I pray that You will provide me with opportunities and words for people in my life that are in unhealthy relationships. I pray peace for their minds and hearts and strength to do the right thing. I pray for courage and wisdom and right thinking. I pray for divine protection and emotional and physical healing for all parties involved. For the children in bad family situations I ask that they be given peace in the tumultuous times and they will be shown the love of Christ by your people. Amen.
Cloth Diapers Revisited - One Year Later
Well I haven't posted about this in a while. But I thought I should do a follow-up to my original post now that I have some hands on experience with the subject. A year into cloth diapering and I can honestly say, I LOVE cloth diapers. Here are a few reasons why:
1. They are so cute! I don't have enough pictures of KB in her diapers (we usually keep her clothed), but I promise they are way cuter than disposables! They don't sag and look nasty.
2. We are saving money! I haven't tried to figure up the savings and we do still have to buy disposables for day care, but I know it is a lot less than what we would spend for disposables all the time. In fact since we have to buy the sensitive skin type disposables and we can't buy cheapo diapers due to KB getting a bad rash with those, disposables are tres expensive.
3. Very few rashes! The only rash she got was because of putting her in non-sensitive disposables and it took FORever to heal. We finally healed it up by using wool covers - breatheability is key!
4. Washing isn't that bad. The smell is no where near the horrible smell of disposables! The diaper sprayer on the toilet is handy for many things, but spraying out poopies is the number one job right now and it does it's job well.
5. Less leaks and blowouts. KB's clothes rarely ever get substance on them and the only time she ever peed through her diaper was when she was in a disposable.
6. I feel like I am doing a good thing for my child and the environment.
Some things I have learned:
1. Prefolds and covers are most economical and easiest to wash/dry and work GREAT for around the house. These are our go-to during the day.
2. It is nice to have all-in-one's or pockets to take out with us because they take up less room and only require one step to put on/take off.
3. It is great to have wet bags to put dirty diapers/stuff in.
4. Everyone else thinks cloth diapers are cute too!
5. Used diapers can be just as good as new, but there are places to buy new ones really cheap (http://www.alltogetherdiaper.com/ or http://www.luvyourbaby.com/ )
1. They are so cute! I don't have enough pictures of KB in her diapers (we usually keep her clothed), but I promise they are way cuter than disposables! They don't sag and look nasty.
2. We are saving money! I haven't tried to figure up the savings and we do still have to buy disposables for day care, but I know it is a lot less than what we would spend for disposables all the time. In fact since we have to buy the sensitive skin type disposables and we can't buy cheapo diapers due to KB getting a bad rash with those, disposables are tres expensive.
3. Very few rashes! The only rash she got was because of putting her in non-sensitive disposables and it took FORever to heal. We finally healed it up by using wool covers - breatheability is key!
4. Washing isn't that bad. The smell is no where near the horrible smell of disposables! The diaper sprayer on the toilet is handy for many things, but spraying out poopies is the number one job right now and it does it's job well.
5. Less leaks and blowouts. KB's clothes rarely ever get substance on them and the only time she ever peed through her diaper was when she was in a disposable.
6. I feel like I am doing a good thing for my child and the environment.
Some things I have learned:
1. Prefolds and covers are most economical and easiest to wash/dry and work GREAT for around the house. These are our go-to during the day.
2. It is nice to have all-in-one's or pockets to take out with us because they take up less room and only require one step to put on/take off.
3. It is great to have wet bags to put dirty diapers/stuff in.
4. Everyone else thinks cloth diapers are cute too!
5. Used diapers can be just as good as new, but there are places to buy new ones really cheap (http://www.alltogetherdiaper.com/ or http://www.luvyourbaby.com/ )
So cloth diapering has been a great adventure for us. One we will be continuing for child #1 and repeating when child #2 rolls around sometime in the indeterminate future. Feel free to post any questions as comments and I will respond. I placed an action shot below. Not the best, but you can see her cool pink camo diaper cover!
7.26.2010
Bigger = Better
Today at our church we finished up our "Fantastic Four" Sundays of July with guest speaker Dino Rizzo of Healing Place church. Pastor Rizzo is an awesome speaker and both services today were phenomenal. This whole month has been amazing, actually. Serving at Youth America has been both exhausting and rewarding and the month of July has flown by. Tonight something Pastor Rizzo said really resonated in my soul and explained so much of my life lately.
His message was about the importance of "belonging" to a local church. He spoke of the 5 benefits of being totally committed and involved in your church. All of the points were so true and as I took notes on paper I was mentally noting the specific instances of mine and Terry's life where belonging and being committed to the church had bore the fruit of reward Pastor Rizzo spoke of. The final point brought it all home for me. Of course, I can't just tell you the point. I have to share the whole back story.
In May I attended one cousin's high school graduation and family party. At the party one of my aunt's asked me how I was doing. She commented, "You always seem so happy when you post on Facebook, are you really that happy?" I replied, "Of course! I really have a great life." Since that time I have been wondering, "God, why is my life so wonderful?" Not that I am complaining, not at all. But what did I do to deserve such a wonderful life? I know I don't "deserve" it. I am not a good enough person to have such a great life. I have a loving husband and beautiful healthy and happy child. I have friends and family galore who love and care for me. I have a good job that provides for our family and a husband who cares for our child and home and takes care of all that stuff I really don't want to do (like yardwork). I have a church that is beyond compare! I have the opportunity to lead people into worship and have learned how to worship my God more freely than I ever have before. So again I ask, "God! Why Me?! What did I do to deserve this?" This almost guilt has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and tonight I feel as if I have received some kind of answer.
Enter: Dino Rizzo. He said that belonging to a church makes your life "Bigger". Whoa! Hold up! My committment to my church makes my life bigger? THAT is what makes my life so grand? Absolutely! If you feel like your life could use a pick me up, take this advice. Look at your involvement in your church. Honesetly evaluate your level of commitment. Do you show up everytime the doors open? Are you there early to greet? Is there an area (or three) of ministry that you are involved in? Do you answer your phone when your campus Pastor calls, or do you ignore the call because you know they will ask you to do something and you just don't have time for that? I am not criticizing, really I am not. But I am passionate! My church has opened my eyes to the hurting world that is out there. Opened my eyes to the need that is all around me. There is so much more to my life than, me. Shocking, I know! If you want to expand your life, your church involvement is the key.
Terry and I have seen a marked difference for the better in our marital relationship, finances, mental health, and general well-being since coming to Church of the Harvest. Not that you can't get this same benefit from plugging in to any church that is making a difference in the world, but if you don't have a church home, come see us at Church of the Harvest. We have six campuses and they are all welcoming and friendly. If you have a church, throw yourself in full force. Show up! Do what is asked, and more. Challenge God to make your life Bigger. I can guarantee you, when it comes to life - Bigger is BETTER!
His message was about the importance of "belonging" to a local church. He spoke of the 5 benefits of being totally committed and involved in your church. All of the points were so true and as I took notes on paper I was mentally noting the specific instances of mine and Terry's life where belonging and being committed to the church had bore the fruit of reward Pastor Rizzo spoke of. The final point brought it all home for me. Of course, I can't just tell you the point. I have to share the whole back story.
In May I attended one cousin's high school graduation and family party. At the party one of my aunt's asked me how I was doing. She commented, "You always seem so happy when you post on Facebook, are you really that happy?" I replied, "Of course! I really have a great life." Since that time I have been wondering, "God, why is my life so wonderful?" Not that I am complaining, not at all. But what did I do to deserve such a wonderful life? I know I don't "deserve" it. I am not a good enough person to have such a great life. I have a loving husband and beautiful healthy and happy child. I have friends and family galore who love and care for me. I have a good job that provides for our family and a husband who cares for our child and home and takes care of all that stuff I really don't want to do (like yardwork). I have a church that is beyond compare! I have the opportunity to lead people into worship and have learned how to worship my God more freely than I ever have before. So again I ask, "God! Why Me?! What did I do to deserve this?" This almost guilt has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and tonight I feel as if I have received some kind of answer.
Enter: Dino Rizzo. He said that belonging to a church makes your life "Bigger". Whoa! Hold up! My committment to my church makes my life bigger? THAT is what makes my life so grand? Absolutely! If you feel like your life could use a pick me up, take this advice. Look at your involvement in your church. Honesetly evaluate your level of commitment. Do you show up everytime the doors open? Are you there early to greet? Is there an area (or three) of ministry that you are involved in? Do you answer your phone when your campus Pastor calls, or do you ignore the call because you know they will ask you to do something and you just don't have time for that? I am not criticizing, really I am not. But I am passionate! My church has opened my eyes to the hurting world that is out there. Opened my eyes to the need that is all around me. There is so much more to my life than, me. Shocking, I know! If you want to expand your life, your church involvement is the key.
Terry and I have seen a marked difference for the better in our marital relationship, finances, mental health, and general well-being since coming to Church of the Harvest. Not that you can't get this same benefit from plugging in to any church that is making a difference in the world, but if you don't have a church home, come see us at Church of the Harvest. We have six campuses and they are all welcoming and friendly. If you have a church, throw yourself in full force. Show up! Do what is asked, and more. Challenge God to make your life Bigger. I can guarantee you, when it comes to life - Bigger is BETTER!
7.19.2010
Birth Story Part 3
We loaded up the car and headed down the driveway to begin our 20 minute journey to the hospital. I was excited and nervous, but I felt great! I didn't feel like anything was wrong with me, but all was not well. Now they were going to induce. I had read so many books on labor and delivery when I was pregnant and being induced was the one thing I knew I did not want. However, I also knew the gravity of the medical situation I was facing and the neccessity for the intervention. I kept focusing on the optimal end result, I go home: a healthy mother with a healthy child. I don't remember our conversation as we drove along. Perhaps I was reitterating to Terry my wishes for labor or maybe we were talking about our soon to be born daughter either way the talk did little to calm me.
Upon arrival at the hospital we parked in the garage and lugged our bags (yes multiple, we didn't know how long we would be there) up the elevator and across the building to the check in location. They settled us in a room, not a birthing suite just a holding room, to stay the night. The plan was to insert the Cervidil and wait, and wait, and (you guessed it) wait - until morning and see what might happen. Not long after getting to the room my parents arrived. I was told to undress and get into the hospital gown and then climb into the bed to be stuck, poked, prodded, and monitored. It was kind of like being the subject of a sick science experiment. Everyone sat around watching as the nurse dug first in one arm and then the other to find a vein for the IV. I didn't realize how swollen I was until I saw how deep they had to dig and still could not find a vein. I was patient and understanding as the nurse searched in my swollen arms with her needle. Then she found a nurse friend to help her continue the great hunt for my veins. As the second nurse tried first one arm and then the other, my patience was wearing thin. It didn't exactly tickle! After the second nurse attempted her second dive in my second arm, I finally insisted they put the IV in the bend of my arm. Not a good place for an IV as it restricts your ability to bend your arm, but I didn't even care. I only wanted to stop being a human pin cushion!
Now, to get down to business. My sister and brother-in-law arrived a little while later and my family sat around the small table in the room looking at their laptops and chatting while watching TV. What did people do before wireless Internet everywhere? They performed one last ultrasound to check the position of the baby - yep head down - she's a good baby! Then began the slow process of induction. At this point I was having no contractions, the time was 9:00pm. There wasn't much to see or do but wait, they would do nothing more for 12 hours. Jen and Kevin went to get dinner and perhaps I ate something - I don't really remember. I was focused on the task. I remember going to the bathroom a lot and having to disconnect and reconnect the monitors. After a little while of waiting and realizing there was much more waiting ahead, Jen and Kevin went to our house to spend the night and my Dad went back home promising to return in the morning. My Mom would NOT be leaving, I didn't mind. She slept on the little couch and Terry curled up in bed with me (love those huge hospital beds) to spend a restless night. Our last night before we saw our baby girl. It wasn't a great night. I went to the bathroom - a lot (did I already say that, well it needed to be said again) and I began to have contractions. It was a long night and when morning came I felt as if I never went to sleep at all.
Upon arrival at the hospital we parked in the garage and lugged our bags (yes multiple, we didn't know how long we would be there) up the elevator and across the building to the check in location. They settled us in a room, not a birthing suite just a holding room, to stay the night. The plan was to insert the Cervidil and wait, and wait, and (you guessed it) wait - until morning and see what might happen. Not long after getting to the room my parents arrived. I was told to undress and get into the hospital gown and then climb into the bed to be stuck, poked, prodded, and monitored. It was kind of like being the subject of a sick science experiment. Everyone sat around watching as the nurse dug first in one arm and then the other to find a vein for the IV. I didn't realize how swollen I was until I saw how deep they had to dig and still could not find a vein. I was patient and understanding as the nurse searched in my swollen arms with her needle. Then she found a nurse friend to help her continue the great hunt for my veins. As the second nurse tried first one arm and then the other, my patience was wearing thin. It didn't exactly tickle! After the second nurse attempted her second dive in my second arm, I finally insisted they put the IV in the bend of my arm. Not a good place for an IV as it restricts your ability to bend your arm, but I didn't even care. I only wanted to stop being a human pin cushion!
Now, to get down to business. My sister and brother-in-law arrived a little while later and my family sat around the small table in the room looking at their laptops and chatting while watching TV. What did people do before wireless Internet everywhere? They performed one last ultrasound to check the position of the baby - yep head down - she's a good baby! Then began the slow process of induction. At this point I was having no contractions, the time was 9:00pm. There wasn't much to see or do but wait, they would do nothing more for 12 hours. Jen and Kevin went to get dinner and perhaps I ate something - I don't really remember. I was focused on the task. I remember going to the bathroom a lot and having to disconnect and reconnect the monitors. After a little while of waiting and realizing there was much more waiting ahead, Jen and Kevin went to our house to spend the night and my Dad went back home promising to return in the morning. My Mom would NOT be leaving, I didn't mind. She slept on the little couch and Terry curled up in bed with me (love those huge hospital beds) to spend a restless night. Our last night before we saw our baby girl. It wasn't a great night. I went to the bathroom - a lot (did I already say that, well it needed to be said again) and I began to have contractions. It was a long night and when morning came I felt as if I never went to sleep at all.
7.02.2010
Liberty and Justice
Last night I found myself in a blah mood. I was bummed for no good reason and I posted so on Facebook. I received a wonderful suggestion from an old friend to do something just for me, and let the other stuff just hang for a bit. So I took her suggestion and picked up a book I started reading last October and began to read. I LOVE to read. However, I don't read as much as I should, especially fiction. I know myself. I get into a book and I can't put it down. And if a book doesn't draw you in, then why are you reading it.
Last night I was reading The Jungle by Upton Sinclair (thanks Angie!). My heart broke for the characters in the story. I couldn't believe I have made it through all these years of schooling and never have read this classic. The story is meant to expose the plight of the working class people in the Chicago Stockyards in the early 20th Century. It follows the life of a Lithuanian family that has come to the United States in hope of a better life. Only to find a life of hard labor and low wages, corruption at every level, and con-men lying in wait to take them for a ride at every turn. As I poured over page after page of one horror after another I couldn't help but think, "I am so glad we have laws to protect us from our employers. I am so happy that this is not how the United States operates any longer." Oh if only that were completely true.
My mind wandered to modern day reality where not only in other countries are people forced into what equates to slave labor and paid unfair wages with no hope of escape, but in our glorious "free" country many people are still working in conditions not unlike those described in the book. Don't believe me? Do your research. Modern slavery is alive and well to the 27 million people worldwide held captive. Read stories of real victims who have suffered unspeakable attrocities, and your heart will break too.
This weekend we celebrate our freedom, but I can't help but think of all those who do not have the great freedom we enjoy. In 2007 Terry and I traveled to Cambodia on a missions trip with our church, Church of the Harvest. There, we had the opportunity to meet almost 20 little girls (ages 5-17) who had been rescued from sex slavery. Those little girls were so beautiful! They danced for us and sang. We prayed for them and then they prayed for us. I don't believe any one of us had a dry eye it was so wonderful to hug and love on them! God showed me His heart that day. I had lived in ignorant bliss to the fact of these types of abuse were going on in the world every day and now my eyes were opened to a reality of it's existence. As Christine Caine said, the story had a face - 20 faces. Small, wide-eyed, beautiful faces of children who had been robbed of a childhood and had their innocence stollen all for profit and lust.
I realize this is not the "Happy 4th of July" post that we most people will be making this weekend, but my mind is weighed down by this knowledge. I cannot sit back and let these things continue. I must work toward helping those who are oppressed.
This is what the Lord says: Be fair-minded and just. Do what is right! Help those who have been robbed; rescue them from their oppressors. Quit your evil deeds! Do not mistreat foreigners, orphans, and widows. Stop murdering the innocent! Jer 22:3 (NLT)
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. Isa 1:17 (NLT)I have a dream. I want to be a modern day abolitionist. I want to help rescue those who are held captive. I have plans to accomplish this dream that will unfold with time. Do you want to help? There are many organizations that are working to accomplish this same goal. Check them out! Contribute to help the cause! Next time you say the flag salute - keep in mind the last phrase, ". . . and Liberty and Justice for all!" For ALL not "all Americans" - ALL.
The A21 Campaign
6.30.2010
Birth Story Part 2
With only four weeks to go, I began to get really excited about this whole baby-having thing. But I became a little nervous too. Each visit I held my breath while on the scale to see how much I had gained, and I am sure my blood pressure was a little higher because of my anxiety concerning what my blood pressure would be. Although I kept checking out OK - steady weight gain, blood pressure normal - because I had started doing labs before, I was not allowed to stop. Each week I was required to complete blood work and a 24 hour urine catch. Each week the result came back in normal range. They began conducting non-stress tests at each visit. Koribella did NOT like the monitors they placed on my belly to detect the heartbeat! She would move away from them each time the nurse got it in position. They would not let me leave until they had 15 minutes worth of good readings from her, so one time Terry literally held her in place by pressing on my belly so she couldn't run from the monitors.
The doctor ordered modified bed rest for the last four weeks. I continued to work from home - in my recliner with my laptop on my lap and my cell phone in hand to call Terry (who was in the baby's room texturing, painting, decorating, etc.) whenever I needed ANYthing. In the evenings he would take me to Target or somewhere else and I would walk around for a few minutes. I kept thinking, "How is this baby ever going to move down if I can't walk around?" I had two doctor's appointments each week and each time they talked about inducing. I wasn't ready to induce and they weren't to the point where they wanted to force the issue. I had a project to finish up with work and desperately didn't want to leave any loose ends. The Friday before my due date, I got everything wrapped up. I told everyone at work - I will not be coming back (virtually of course because I was working from home) because no matter what I am having this baby this weekend. They believed me. That day I also turned in my last 24 hour urine catch.
The weekend was not memorable aside from it being my last weekend without my new baby. On Sunday afternoon we went to our last pre-baby movie; a matinee at The Warren in Moore, X-Men Wolverine. The movie was great and I felt great all was well. I was having a few contractions, but nothing big. When we walked in the door, the answering machine was beeping. It was a message from the midwife on call, they got the bloodwork back, I was to call immediately. They had never called before about bloodwork and on a Sunday! Something was up. So I called her back and left a message for her to call me - fun! Lana was on her way over to visit for a little while and we were so nervous and tidying things up not knowing what the midwife would say. Finally the phone rang and she told me the results. I crossed the threshold for acceptable amounts of protein in my urine and they wanted to induce - today. Wow! Like Now?? Well, not exactly. I would either need to show up within the hour or in three hours she would call me back and let me know.
Lana was there by this time and she crochetted as Terry and I scurried around getting everything together for the hospital. We knew we would be spending the night. I called my parents to let them know and they of course wanted to come to the hospital. I would call them back when we knew for sure what time we were going to be admitted. The midwife, Leanna, called back to confirm we would need to be there in 3 hours to get checked in. Whew! We had some time. We had Lana take some last minute pictures of us in the baby's room. There was no more time to prepare. We let everyone know, got our stuff together, and waited anxiously for the clock to change.
The doctor ordered modified bed rest for the last four weeks. I continued to work from home - in my recliner with my laptop on my lap and my cell phone in hand to call Terry (who was in the baby's room texturing, painting, decorating, etc.) whenever I needed ANYthing. In the evenings he would take me to Target or somewhere else and I would walk around for a few minutes. I kept thinking, "How is this baby ever going to move down if I can't walk around?" I had two doctor's appointments each week and each time they talked about inducing. I wasn't ready to induce and they weren't to the point where they wanted to force the issue. I had a project to finish up with work and desperately didn't want to leave any loose ends. The Friday before my due date, I got everything wrapped up. I told everyone at work - I will not be coming back (virtually of course because I was working from home) because no matter what I am having this baby this weekend. They believed me. That day I also turned in my last 24 hour urine catch.
The weekend was not memorable aside from it being my last weekend without my new baby. On Sunday afternoon we went to our last pre-baby movie; a matinee at The Warren in Moore, X-Men Wolverine. The movie was great and I felt great all was well. I was having a few contractions, but nothing big. When we walked in the door, the answering machine was beeping. It was a message from the midwife on call, they got the bloodwork back, I was to call immediately. They had never called before about bloodwork and on a Sunday! Something was up. So I called her back and left a message for her to call me - fun! Lana was on her way over to visit for a little while and we were so nervous and tidying things up not knowing what the midwife would say. Finally the phone rang and she told me the results. I crossed the threshold for acceptable amounts of protein in my urine and they wanted to induce - today. Wow! Like Now?? Well, not exactly. I would either need to show up within the hour or in three hours she would call me back and let me know.
Lana was there by this time and she crochetted as Terry and I scurried around getting everything together for the hospital. We knew we would be spending the night. I called my parents to let them know and they of course wanted to come to the hospital. I would call them back when we knew for sure what time we were going to be admitted. The midwife, Leanna, called back to confirm we would need to be there in 3 hours to get checked in. Whew! We had some time. We had Lana take some last minute pictures of us in the baby's room. There was no more time to prepare. We let everyone know, got our stuff together, and waited anxiously for the clock to change.
5.27.2010
What do you want for your life?
What do you want more than anything else in life? Is it money, success, fame, love, joy, or something else entirely? I created one of those - "About Me" quizzes once on MySpace and challenged my friends and family to take it to see how well they all knew me. Not surprisingly - to me anyways - not one person was able to achieve 100%. One of the questions which pretty much everyone got wrong was similar to the question with which I started this post, "What do I want most in life?". I think the answers were money, success, happiness, and probably a couple others. I like to offer five options to make things a little harder. I was a little shocked at all the wrong answers. I wondered how all these people that I love and adore could know so little about my true ambition in life. How could those ambitions be all that people saw in me? Was there something wrong with me?
Now fast forward two years or so and my life is vastly different. I am a different person, but what I want most in life hasn't changed. That answer hasn't changed in YEARS! My loving aunt commented last week, that I seem so happy on Facebook. I am always postitive and talking about how I love my life. The best part, is that it is TRUE! I LOVE MY LIFE! In fact that same morning - before I saw my aunt - I was walking through the concourse at work and smiling while thinking to myself, "Terry will be here soon! I can't wait to see him and Koribella. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband!"
Every day is a new adventure. Even if the plan is simply going to work and coming home for dinner with the family, it is an adventure to me. Oh, don't get me wrong, I want so many things in life. I want to have money and be successful. I want to travel the world and see all there is to see. I want to see my kids grow up and achieve their dreams and age gracefully with the love of my life. But more than anything in life - I want to be happy! I have always said to myself, "I want to be happy and if I am not, I want to have the courage to make the changes necessary to achieve happiness."
That same evening my aunt talked about how happy I seem, my cousin and I were playing with Koribella. We were all three laughing and I said, "See, how could I not be happy with this little girl in my life!" This is a picture of happiness - Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
